I’m writing this tale on Non Epileptic Seizures (NES) by way of my own experiences. Since there is a lot of mystery in this field, I decided to tell you about what transpired in my personal life.
I was plagued by grand mal seizures for 15 years (age 17-32). They came out of thin air and went away 15 years afterward. I went through numerous EEG tests performed in St. Michael’s Hospital in Toronto.
The seizures were not too bad however, the tests always showed that my brain waves were normal or in the normal range. It was not clear that I was epileptic but I was experiencing full-blown grand mal seizures. This occurred between 1969 to 1984.
Lamictal Stevens Johnson Syndrome
What I’ve since discovered. These seizures weren’t typical Physiological Seizure. The situation occurs when there is a sudden changes in sugar, blood supply or oxygen levels in the brain. I was experiencing what I’ve learned to call Physchogenic Seizures. These are often caused by stress-related emotional traumas that are psychologically experienced which often signify that the body is in a state of extreme stress. That’s why my brain waves appeared normal or didn’t show an indication of any pattern that appeared like I was an epileptic. The doctors back then didn’t have any idea the reason for this.
To be clear I experienced some serious head first fall extremely frightening to watch seizures. In the absence of knowing from how they got there they were accepted as part of my identity. Doctor. Grey at St. Mike’s recommended an anti-depressant that was mildly sedative known as dilantin, which I used for a long time.
A few days later during one of my brothers’ weddings, I took a break and left the church feeling light headed and worried I could have seizures. Following the service, my father came in and was asking “what happened to you” I responded, “I felt a little light headed and was concerned I might have a seizure in the church, so I came out for some air” and to which the priest responded in a loud and angry manner, “there is nothing wrong with you!” .. Well that was a life-changing 6 words!
I was no longer a child any more and I went through 15 years of crazed struggles with seizures and bruises that show that. In those 6 words , my father pulled a trigger in me, which sent a jolt in my brain. I was absolutely furious. I was enraged at the thought of him making such a blunder. I was so furious that I responded by launching my own volley of words.
In the moment I arose and stood up to 16 feet and was chatting with my father. I could not stay from the way that his statement caused me to feel. My anger grew from zero to 100 miles per hour in a flash and I informed him of the exact location the he could place his ignorant and unfeeling stance.
And here’s the best part, I didn’t have another seizures from that day on!
It’s just my opinion however, I believe that my Grand Mal seizures were something to do with my child’s bond with his father rather than an epileptic would experience. This is why I believe that they are it is the Physchogenic Seizure kind. At the time, very it was difficult to find out about this particular type of NES (non-epileptic seizure).
Today, I am calling my experience “Finding The Invisible Monkeys”. Everyone has these, some small and some big. Internal poor programming, emotional trauma. Call it whatever you want but it’s an unidentified stressor that’s hidden in us all. My invisible monkey was discovered by me after I responded to my father’s comments. If I didn’t, that I would have seizures today.
There’s not enough space in this piece to tell the story, but suffice it to say that the tale does not end there. There were actually six phases all together:
– The 15 Year Non Epileptic Seizure Period (The Invisible Monkey Years)
– The Unintended Confrontation (The Unknown Stressor Release Moment)
– The 2 Year Mad As Hell Period (Early Stage Discovery)
– The Awakening Period (Early Understanding Stage)
– The Forgiveness Period (Full Awareness & Understanding)
– The Gratitude Period (The Letting Go & Moving On Stage)